Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
