You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
