I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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