feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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