You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.