Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased

Fav 19 4070 1245
share tweet
(901): View more from Tennessee

Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?

Fav 30 929 3900
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.

Fav 23 7610 1280
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker

(914): View more from New York

Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.

Fav 7 4155 1329
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow

Fav 14 3608 1669
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.

Fav 3 2501 1116
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow

Fav 27 2725 1309
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.

(1+44): View more from

They'll never let you practice medicine.

Fav 5 1847 648
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(765): View more from Indiana

Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.

Fav 2 67 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT