Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
how drunk are you?