so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?