I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So vagazzling was a success