On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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