My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
