i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
