I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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