By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
