Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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