She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize