I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
