i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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