My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
