This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
