After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
