My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
