Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
