just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
