yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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