I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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