Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
