I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
