I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
