i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we're making bets on your personal life
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
