you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
