i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.