Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt

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(479): View more from Arkansas

By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about

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(716): View more from New York

my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.

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(206): View more from Washington

Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle

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(706): View more from Georgia

Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting

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(419): View more from Ohio

I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.

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