Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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  (305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B http://tfl.nu/epjn
  Replies (35) Good night (1097) Bad night (3449)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.

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  (860): I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder. http://tfl.nu/zegq
  Replies (17) Good night (4265) Bad night (520)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Good luck with that.

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  (419): I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me. (260): Good luck with that. http://tfl.nu/2zv5
  Replies (31) Good night (1145) Bad night (2941)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.

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  (231): I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends. http://tfl.nu/26nn
  Replies (15) Good night (1852) Bad night (3962)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard

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  (863): And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard http://tfl.nu/4drm
  Replies (22) Good night (8088) Bad night (940)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.

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  (864): I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was. http://tfl.nu/wo9k
  Replies (11) Good night (1834) Bad night (4900)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?

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  (616): Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by? http://tfl.nu/1ke1
  Replies (28) Good night (1647) Bad night (7818)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?

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  (609): we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding? http://tfl.nu/9jac
  Replies (11) Good night (4730) Bad night (903)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.

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  (905): I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it. http://tfl.nu/6c57
  Replies (2) Good night (2194) Bad night (512)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.

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  (540): Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run. http://tfl.nu/gma4
  Replies (3) Good night (1904) Bad night (579)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.

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  (724): I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported. http://tfl.nu/ojxl
  Replies (15) Good night (3969) Bad night (749)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend

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  (478): Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend http://tfl.nu/itrv
  Replies (4) Good night (1064) Bad night (518)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.

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  (801): fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering. http://tfl.nu/0c1c
  Replies (6) Good night (867) Bad night (388)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks

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  (412): nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks http://tfl.nu/mqja
  Replies (1) Good night (267) Bad night (449)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.

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  (330): I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun. http://tfl.nu/77j1
  Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (209)

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