last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
