Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.