I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize