oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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