Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
