Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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