He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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