Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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