the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
