You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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