I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
