Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
