How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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