we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
