He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
