Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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