I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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