That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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