i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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