There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
