the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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