drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize