So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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