So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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