Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
