i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
