so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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