make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
